Going Out With a Bang
by Drop Dead Saxy
Summary: “We were…” Elliot paused. “We were chasing after a suspect. He had a gun that we hadn’t seen and when Olivia went in first and our suspect fired off shots.” It was hard the first time, but reliving it was worse.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Nothing is mine! Thanks to my wonderful beta who has been working so hard. Hope all of you like it! Don't forget to review.

Going Out With a Bang

He looked at her lying on the bed. She had been like this for awhile -and he been there the whole time.

Her eyelids fluttered and he started to hope.

"Liv?" But she still didn't open her eyes. "Come on Olivia; come back to me."

While sitting in the quiet of the hospital room, he remembered what happened. They had been chasing after a suspect, but they hadn't seen the gun he had. He heard two shots ring out in the night air; he saw Olivia go down. A feeling of helplessness washed over him, so strong he hadn't known what to do. He saw the suspect run and had been at her side in a minute. She had a bullet in her shoulder and one in her stomach. _I should have gone ahead of her, not the other way around, _he thought.

She was lucky to be alive, the doctor had said, but they didn't know how long it would be before she would come out of a coma. Elliot took her left hand in his and prayed to whoever was listening that she make it through this. He couldn't lose her; it just wasn't an option.

"Liv…Liv, you have to wake up." He paused. "Everyone's worried about you. And you know I don't want to train another rookie. No one could be a better partner." Her eyelids fluttered again like she could hear him.

"Now, you have to wake up because I can't do this alone, Olivia. I just…can't," he ended with a sigh.

"Elliot?" His head jerked up to look at her face; she hadn't changed.

"Elliot?" The voice asked again.

He turned towards the door and saw the ADA standing there.

"Hey," he said glumly; for just a moment he had thought it was Olivia.

"How long have you been here, El?"

"Haven't left," he told Casey shortly.

"Go home-"

Elliot cut her off. "I'm going to be the first one she sees when she wakes up."

"You and I both know that won't be tonight. Go home, get some food, change your clothes, and get some sleep. I'll be here until you get back."

Elliot looked like he was about to refuse. "Elliot, go!"

"You'll call if…"

"Yes, now would you go?"

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When Elliot got home the first thing he did was head to the shower. He always thought it was a good place to think, but as the water pelted his head, thoughts of this afternoon's events ran though his mind. Elliot shook his head, but couldn't get the image of Olivia on the ground, wounded, out of his head.

Finishing with his shower he got out and dried himself slowly. Elliot figured Casey was right: he should at least try to get some sleep. Yet sleep didn't come easy for him. His dreams - nightmares - wouldn't leave him alone. It was always the same: he just couldn't save Olivia.

He thought of her smile: the one that would light up her eyes; it showed she was truly happy. Those weren't often anymore, but when they did happen his whole body would heat up. He thought about her when they had found out about Alex. Images, good and bad, flew through his head. Her face calmed him enough to let him get some sleep.

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When he got back to her hospital room, it looked as though nothing had changed. The walls the same horrible white they had been when he left. Olivia's motionless form was still on the bed; the only thing missing was Casey. She had told him she would stay until he got back, so where was she?

He had just taken the chair next to Olivia's bed when Munch walked in.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Munch questioned him.

"Pretty much." He looked back at Olivia. "Went home to change clothes and get some food."

"I hope you got a little shut eye while you were there."

"I did," Elliot answered. He wanted to be alone with her right now.

"I just came by to see how she was doing." Munch supplied uselessly.

"It doesn't seem like much has changed."

Elliot hadn't even heard him, he was to busy talking to Olivia. "I can't lose you, Liv. I'm not that strong," he mumbled. Munch heard but didn't comment. Deciding it would be best to come back later, he slipped out of the room. Elliot never noticed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hope you all like it. Thanks to all the people that reviewed, you guys are great. And a big thanks to my beta Essy.

Chapter 2

Things would never be the same, Elliot knew. He sat looking at her face, so pale, so fragile, her body covered by the thin white hospital sheet. He knew that if Olivia had been able to hear his thoughts he would have been a goner in less then two minutes. _I'm anything but fragile and I don't need a knight in shinning armor, Stabler, so just back off, _he mimicked her in his head. If only she would take help; if only she would _let_ him help, he corrected. Sometimes she didn't know when enough was enough; that's when he had to step in, and she never liked him for it.

They had been fighting a lot more lately, so much so that she went to Computer Crimes for a bit. It had been tough not working with her, but he knew she was still around. Working without her was a problem but if she died, she would take him with her.

Elliot couldn't be there, not right now, not with these thoughts dashing through his head. He looked at her one more time, turned, and sprinted from the room.

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"Elliot? What are you doing here?" Cragen asked when Elliot walked into the squad room.

_It didn't seem right, _Elliot thought, _walking in without her by his side or at her desk working on something. _

"I just can't do nothing any more. Sitting there and not being able to help is driving menuts."

"You'll need a new partner for now," Cragen informed him.

Elliot looked pained and wary. "That's okay, Captain. Maybe I could just work with either Munch or Fin." Even before Elliot had finished talking, Cragen gave him a look that clearly said 'I-don't-think-so'.

As his captain had left, Elliot turned back to his desk. There were pictures all over his desk, pictures of his children and Kathy. Sitting at the edge of his desk, right by the computer, was a picture of him and Olivia at a Christmas party a few years ago. His gut clenched strongly and he had a difficult time admitting why.

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When Elliot walked into Olivia's hospital room a few hours later, he saw Maureen sitting beside her bed with a magazine in her hands.

"Maureen?" His oldest daughter looked up at him.

"Hi, Daddy," she replied, smiling at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well," she started and looked back at her magazine, then back at Elliot. "I got done with classes about an hour ago and came to see how she was doing."

Elliot looked between Maureen and Olivia, not sure what to do. His face must have shown what he was feeling because Maureen started to worry herself.

"Daddy, are you okay?"

"Yeah - yeah I'm all right, sweetheart."

"No you're not. You can tell me what's wrong." She was observant - he had made her that way.

Elliot looked at Olivia's face, back at Maureen and then at Olivia again.

"I know that, Maureen, I just don't know where to start."

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He was working on the paperwork for the Redview case when a woman walked into the squad room asking to speak to Captain Cragen.

"I'm the captain. Is there something I can help you with?"

The woman looked around the room, noting there were no empty desks. Her face held that confused look that Elliot had seen often.

"I was told the 1-6 needed a detective." And with that sentence Elliot sucked in a breath sharply, looking towards his captain.

"Captain?" Elliot questioned quickly. Cragen didn't look at Elliot but he knew what Cragen was thinking: _What was I supposed to do?_

_Not pair me up with someone else,_ Elliot thought, taking in the woman standing next to Fin's desk. Her hair was blond, pulled back into a braid; her face gave way to her experience and it seemed like she had a rough past.

"Dani Beck." The woman replied, holding out her hand. Cragen took it.

"I was noticing, though, that I don't have a desk."

"Detective Benson is in a coma right now. She didn't have time to clean out her desk," Elliot countered.

Munch looked at Dani and then at Elliot. "Now, now, Stabler, play nice."

His anger was getting the best of him. Elliot knew he needed to get out of there before he did something ridiculous. He pushed his chair back and left the room.

"We're family here, Detective Beck. This has been hard on all of us." Munch informed her, not unkindly.

Munch knew where Elliot was headed and met him up there. "It's hard on all of us, Elliot."

"But you don't…" he cut himself off before he uncovered his secret.

"What? Love her?"

Elliot's head turned quickly towards Munch. _Am I that transparent? _He never thought he was.

Munch chuckled. "Come on, now you have to greet her."

"I don't want to work with her," Elliot mumbled to himself.

"You sound like you're five."

"Maybe if I wish hard enough, I'll get what I want…" he trailed off, then in a quieter voice said, "Olivia back and Beck gone."

"Yeah, Elliot, maybe," Munch told him while they walked back into the squad room.


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: Okay, so here's the next chapter; I hope you all like it. Thanks to all the reviewers, you guys are great.

Going Out With a Bang

Chapter 3

It was different, working with Dani instead of Olivia. They were two very different detectives, not to mention people. This time, he wasn't the one who had to be calmed down; he was the one doing the calming. Dani was rash and wanted things to be closed and over with quickly. She would just have to get used to Special Victims, while he was still trying to get use to life without Olivia. _How much longer would it be before she woke up?_ Elliot wondered to himself. _How much longer will I have to work with Beck?_

Things had been fine - not fixed - but it was getting there. Elliot knew that after everything they had now gone through together, he and Olivia would never be as it was. _At least I can't. I can't go back to before. _Not after this.

Seeing Cragen walk in, Elliot let his thoughts trail off.

"Grab your partner and get to Mercy." Elliot winced at the word partner, but got up to get her nonetheless.

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The ride to Mercy was long. It was nothing like the car rides with Olivia. Elliot wondered when he was going to stop comparing Olivia to Beck.

"So, what happened to Benson?" Dani asked.

"She was shot," Elliot deadpanned. This was not a subject he wanted to talk about. He realized, though, that it probably was something he was going to have to talk about. He was supposed to have her back, supposed to keep her safe, and all he had ended up doing was getting her shot. Huang had taken him aside a few days after she was shot and told him, his door was always open. Elliot had thought about taking him up on the offer, but had decided against it.

"She was a good cop," Dani offered.

_You didn't know her - didn't work with her, hadn't gotten to know her, _Elliot thought. How could this woman possibly know what Olivia was like? How could Beck know all that Olivia and he had gone through? How?

"Yeah." Again, he deadpanned his response.

"Look, Stabler, at least I'm attempting to be civilized. I know that I'm not Olivia but that doesn't mean I don't know what you're going through."

"Oh? And how would you know?" Elliot mocked, not knowing what the answer would be, not really caring.

"My _husband_ was also one of New York's finest." Elliot's eyes widened; he didn't think he was going to like the end of this story. "Unfortunately, he's not with us anymore. He was shot a little while ago…" She trailed off "So the next time you want to tell me I don't know how you feel, think again, because at least your partner is still _alive._"

What was he supposed to say to that? 'I'm sorry' was too common and he would bet she had heard it more than enough, so he settled for, "I didn't know."

"Well, now you do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot was here again, in her room. He had been to see her everyday; he was starting to lose hope, all the hope that she would come back to him. Beck was good, but she wasn't _Olivia._ Olivia had that special touch with their victims. She was great with the children, knowing how to calm them down or how to get them to trust her. She knew, truly knew, how they felt. Beck was good, but Elliot had to wonder how long it would take for the victims to become too much.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: I have finally updated for all of you that missed the story. Everything with school is really hectic right now. I want to thank my lovely beta Essy, and my insperation to Tim O'Brain. They have both a huge help. Thanks Essy. And I want to thank all of my reviewers, you guys rock!

Going Out With a Bang

Chapter 4

In his apartment Elliot could evaluate everything. He had to think, had to take the things he was feeling and put them into perspective.

He sat there for a few minutes, but ideas and thoughts seemed to jumble in his head. Nothing made sense anymore; at least, not since Olivia had gone into a coma, bringing in a whole new aspect: Dani.

He wasn't sure how he felt, but wasn't the silence supposed to help him? Wasn't the silence supposed to give you that haven of truth? A time when you could work though problems? Wasn't it supposed to allow you to be honest? Apparently not, because he couldn't figure out one single thing. It didn't help that he had this nagging feeling that something wasn't right. The other problem was that he couldn't identify with what was wrong: it was just there in his gut, urging him on, urging him to do something. _But what?_ Elliot felt like yelling.

"But what?" He whispered to the empty room.

Nothing was the same anymore. He could feel the world as he had gotten used to it, after the divorce crumbling in around him. He was falling from a cliff and he had no way to catch himself. He wasn't at rock bottom yet, but Elliot knew he was getting there.

He suddenly felt like he needed to get out, do something. He couldn't just sit there. The nagging feeling in his gut got so strong that he couldn't breathe, like something heavy was weighing on his whole chest, taking the breath from his lungs.

He didn't realize he had started to move. He seemed in a daze, his movements deaf, like a car on autopilot. He grabbed a jacket and left quietly. Elliot didn't know where his feet seemed to be taking him, but he couldn't move the fog from his mind long enough to figure it out.

To people on the street, he was just another man, but to him, it didn't seem that way. Something was eating at him; the weight on his chest didn't lessen or let up at all. His chest constricted, knees buckled, and he almost lost his footing.

The only thought going through Elliot's head was to stay standing; no matter what happened, he needed to stay on his feet. He needed to get to where his feet were talking him.

They had been through thick and thin, gone through hell together, but now he was going through it alone. All alone, all by himself. She wasn't there to keep him in, to keep him from going completely off the deep end.

"Liv," he said softly, and that's when his knees gave way and he could no longer stay on his feet. He had ended up where he wanted to be. The fog had cleared from his mind and now that his mind was working correctly, he could see where his feet had taken him.

He was in Olivia's hospital room. The constant beating of the monitors around him was his only constant company, the reminder that she was still alive. She was starting to regain some of her old color, but he thought it was only because the wounds were starting to heal.

Her eyes were still closed and the constricting feeling in his chest came back full force.

"Hey, Liv. You know things aren't the same without you. I'm not sure if my new partner will do well in SVU. She isn't you, you know? She's not you." He knew he was rambling, but the weight that made it hard to breathe, was lessening every second he rambled. So he just kept going.

There was a ringing in the background that he couldn't place right away. When he figure out it was his phone, he quickly answered it.

When he hung up, he turned back to look at her.

"That was Beck," he told her softly, as thought he couldn't speak about _that _with _her. _"We have a case." He looked her over one more time, went over to her bed, kissed her forehead and left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sometimes Elliot learned, silence wasn't best. What a person needed, sometimes, was a drink. A cold beer after a long hard day on the job.

He wanted something that would take the edge off the case and Liv.

There was no change in her condition and he knew that the doctors didn't expect her to get better.

"Stabler?" He took his eyes from the bottle when he heard his name.

"Dani," Elliot replied, moving his eyes back to his beer.

"Been to see her lately?" she questioned him. Couldn't she see he wanted to be alone, just him and his thoughts?

"Yes," he said monotonously. The beer didn't seem to be helping. Why wasn't anything working? There was no room for any more thoughts. All he wanted was for the pain to go away.

"So you plan to drink yourself into a coma?" Dani's voice intoned. When he didn't answer, she continued. "You think that's what she would want?"

His temper flared. "You don't know what she wants!"

But Dani's temper was just as quick. "Apparently neither do you!"

He looked defeated. _Nothing seemed to be right without Benson. _Dani thought.

"Come on, let's go."

Elliot didn't seem to register that. "Huh?"

"Come on, we'll get something to eat."

"Nah, go ahead. I'm not hungry."

Her face was set, like nothing would sway her from getting what she wanted. He wasn't surprised. She was a person who would fully fight head-on to get what she wanted. The case before had proved that.

"Yeah, alright."

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"You and Benson have been partners for how long?"

"Eight years," Elliot told her. He had only lifted his eyes from the bottle a few times and hadn't volunteered anything,

"That's pretty good."

"Yeah. I remember thinking she wouldn't last." He looked up at Dani then. "Not many do."

"So why did you stay?"

"Because I knew if I didn't, then someone else wouldn't. Because I wanted to keep the perps behind bars and put the new ones there."

"Seems like you have a superman complex?" His head and eyebrows rose at that remark.

_Did he have a superman complex? Was he trying to save everyone?_ He voiced his thoughts. "Doesn't everyone deserve to be saved?"

She countered him quickly. "Don't you?"

He had to think about that for a few minutes. In the end he decided to put it off a little longer, something to think about in the silence of his apartment. Some other aspect of his life he could throw into question.

"Why did you transfer to SVU?"

"I felt that I could do some good. I thought that I could make changes. Plus, I needed a change."

"How did you meet your husband?" he asked, changing the subject again,

She looked away from him a moment and wouldn't meet his eyes again. "We were partners."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: None of it is mine...though I wish it was! Thank you for all the reviews; I love feedback. Sorry about the wait I've had a little bit of writer's block.

Going Out With a Bang

Chapter 5

He had always taken for granted what he had. He never once questioned the importance of a person; he thought he knew their worth, but he had been wrong. _That seems to be happening a lot lately_he thought bitterly to himself. Everything he had ever known was pushed into a strange light: one in which he could see nothing and everything all at once.

Elliot knew that with all the time that passed, the light, the brightly dark light, that threw his whole world into a different time and place, was getting brighter. It got brighter every day, and he was terrified that this light would take over his life - _him _- completely.

Every time he tried to move past the light, the more it seemed to take him over completely. What he thought he knew for fact was now thrown under this harsh light that could bring any normal man to his knees.

Elliot was brought back to his world when a knock sounded at the door. He didn't feel like answering but didn't know if it was something important. _Had Olivia woken up? Is she…is she dead?…No…_

The fog that had clouded his mind was back full force. It was a wonder he could accomplish anything.

"Stabler?" His name muffled thought the door; he knew that voice. Where did he know it from? "Stabler?" The voice repeated, sounding agitated.

The fog cleared. He knew who was at his door. Slowly, very slowly he opened the door. He had been having strange feeling as of late, but he couldn't seem to place them.

He opened the door to a very angry looking Dani. "What did I do now?" he asked, trying to put on a boyish charm that seemed to work with Kathy.

Her eyes were shinning at him and her face had a nice pink tint. She looked like an Amazon Warrior, out to take down everything around her; unfortunately, the only thing in her path right now was him. Taking his eyes off her didn't seem to be an option. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her eyes, those eyes that he couldn't get out of his mind as of late. _What the hell is going on? _

"We've been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour," she told him angrily.

"Why?"

"Well if you had answered your phone, you would know!" Dani replied bitingly. She took a long look at him, and then looked around him to his apartment, which was a mess. "What were you doing anyway?"

"Stabler, have you gone to see her in the past few days?" Somehow Dani seemed to know how important Olivia was to him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Dani. What were you calling for? Do they need our help?"

She could tell he didn't want to talk, but she also knew that if he didn't say anything, he would end up killing himself slowly.

She took a look around his apartment again and wondered why he seemed to just let life go. She understood - probably better than anyone - what he was going through; she lost her love once too. He doesn't try any more; their cases are different, she knew that it was one of the things keeping him going, but she also knew he wasn't truly himself. He's a damn good cop, just not one that could handle everything alone, much to his own disappointment. But this was something the cop couldn't handle; this was something the man had to.

"Elliot." He didn't flinch, just looked at her strangely; she had never called him by his first name. _Kind of like Olivia. _He wished his brain would shut up. He wished he could stop comparing them. They were two different people, with two completely different view points.

"Elliot?" she repeated. Dani was getting worried. He was distant and closed off and she wondered what he was like before Olivia had been shot. Now he seemed to be a shadow of the man he used to be and it was likely he would be until, _no, if_, if Olivia woke up.

"I-I have to go," he told her quickly.

"All right," she said as the door closed.

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He had rushed to her hospital room. What had he been thinking staying away for so long? He was lucky the nurses liked him; it was so close to the end of visiting hours.

But when Elliot arrived at her room he saw a man standing at her bed, one he had seen only a few times before.

"Agent Porter?" The man standing at Olivia's bed turned around.

"Elliot," Porter said. "I would ask 'how are you' but I think I already know the answer."

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I just heard. The man you have in the FBI, Huang, right?" At Elliot's nod, Porter continued. "He mentioned it to me, and I wanted to come by to see her."

"I didn't mean to interrupt. I can come back later."

"Why…What happen exactly?" Porter asked.

"We were…" Elliot paused. "We were chasing after a suspect. He had a gun that we hadn't seen and when Olivia went in first and our suspect fired off shots." It was hard the first time, but reliving it was worse. He saw it, had been there, seen her go down and seen the blood -_her_ blood - pool around her.

This was a man Olivia obviously trusted. She trusted this man over him, or so it seemed. And Porter obviously trusted and respected her, so where did that leave him, Elliot? Where was he supposed to go from here? If he got Olivia back just to lose her again, _well, _he thought, _that would be better then her not getting her back at all. _

"Agent…" Elliot started.

"My name's Dean. With everything that has happened, I don't want to think about my job right now."

Elliot didn't know if he could call Porter by his name. He was someone that Olivia trusted over him and he didn't think he could be Porter's friend. But he might as well give it a try.

"Okay, then. Dean it is."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I am so sorry I haven't posted in a while. School is busy, life is busy everything is busy! Thanks to all my reviewers you guys are the best. I always love feedback, which is why after reading you'll have to let me know what you think. Thanks to my beta reader: Essy. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Going Out With a Bang

Chapter 6

When Elliot was younger, he loved roller coasters. It gave him the feeling of flying, of being free, up in the air where nothing could touch him. No worries for those few precious minutes. He never screamed, but he always had his hands up, sliding around those corners and falling from the drops.

He had learned, though, that not all roller coasters were alike: not all of them gave him that flying sensation - some twisted his stomach so that afterward he would have to find the closest bathroom or bush. His life was like that roller coaster now.

Elliot looked over at Dani, the moon throwing her face into shadow, but illuminating her hair. Cragen had picked them for the stake out, but Elliot was having a trouble keeping his eyes on the suspect's house; luckily for him, Dani was watching the house as he watched her.

"Stabler, stop watching me," Dani said still looking straight ahead.

"You look nice in the moon light, Beck," he said flirtatiously. She looked over at him then, noticing the boyish grin on his face.

"What was that, Stabler?" You trying to flirt with me?" she questioned mockingly.

He grinned. "Nope, just stating the truth, Beck."

"So we're back to last names?"

"Well, considering you've never called me Elliot in the first place; I'd say, yeah, we're back to last names."

"Ouch, that one hurt." She started to smile, but seemed to change her mind and paused instead. "I didn't know you wanted me to call you by your first name," she stated quickly, looking back at the suspect's house.

"Huh-" was all Elliot could get out before Dani cut him off.

"There he is. He's coming out of his house." Reacting quickly, they opened their doors and went after him.

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Elliot looked up at the sky, trying to see the stars through the city lights. Were all stars drowned out by the city lights? Was that what they were destined for?

But stars could, and would, burn out eventually, which, Elliot thought, happened to every human at some point. That point seemed to be coming closer every year.

He remembered a case they had a while back, when Olivia said that maybe it - doing this job - wasn't worth it. There would always be another perp, another victim. He remembered telling her she could always walk away. _No, I can't, _she had whispered.

He remembered thinking that Olivia wouldn't last long, most rookies didn't. They didn't understand that the cases they dealt with weren't easy. Most cops thought of them as the panty police, but they probably couldn't last more than six months, maybe less, in this unit. Olivia had surprised him at first with how well she had taken the first case. She threw up. He remembered saying there was no crying in baseball. But he thought she would have finished the case with or without the comment. Something's driving her, something that most people would never understand, and something that makes her great with the victims.

"Elliot?" At hearing his name, Elliot turned around quickly to see Dean Porter.

"What are you doing?"

"Just looking at the stars," Elliot replied easily.

"In the city? That's probably as effective as owning a car in New York." Elliot couldn't help but crack a smile.

"What can I do for you, Dean?"

"I was going to visit her and thought you might want to come along."

How could Elliot say it nicely? That he didn't want to visit her with him, that she was what mattered to him and sharing that experience with the man who took her away, wasn't something he wanted to do?

Instead, all he could think to say was, "That would be nice."

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Elliot could see the way he looked at her, knew the look well, as he had been giving it to her for some time. How could he explain to Port-Dean, that he wanted him to back off, that he and Olivia had been through some pretty tough shit together and that he deserved a chance with her, if she ever woke up?

Dean looked at her, just looked, not saying anything for a few moments. Then, "She looks so fragile, so breakable…so not her, you know?"

"She looked even worse at the beginning, but she seems to be getting some strength, which the doctors say is a good sign."

Making idle conversation had never been one of his strong points, and with the subject being what it was, Elliot didn't think he wanted to. He was there…what more did Dean want from him? It was hard enough coming alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_They had just reached the building, rushing in after the perp. He signaled for her to go first, hadn't even thought that maybe he should. He watched her check both sides before nodding and going around the corner. He waited for a few seconds, like he had been trained, looked around both corners himself and then followed her, just in time to see her take another corner. He heard gun shots and took off after Olivia, hoping that she had taken the shots. He turned the corner in time to see her fall to the ground, blood pooling around her body from the wound in her side, and the perp running from the scene._

He tossed and turned as he relived those moments, yelling out in his sleep.

He woke in a cold sweat, wondering why.

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At an apartment across town Dean Porter woke from a vivid dream, sheets draped around his legs, body covered in a warm sweat, panting from excursion, wondering when this had happened and when things had changed, but also wondering why.

A/N: Can you guess what Porter's dreaming? You'll see next chapter!


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